Thoughts About The New Year

When the clock struck midnight last year and it officially became 2021 I felt one thing: fear.

I walked into a new year with nothing but dread and anxiety about what was to come.

12 days into 2021 my worst fears were realized when I learned I’d be losing my job… and in many ways, a career that had been the focus of my entire adult life. It quite literally felt like the walls I had built brick by brick, year by year had suddenly come crashing down around me.

Photo by the incredibly talented @leandracreativecophoto

I didn’t just lose a job I loved. I lost my identity. I lost what I thought was the most interesting thing about me. I lost my confidence. I was convinced 2021 would be the year that would break me.

But the reality is, 365 days later, I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time. Because that person I was last New Year’s anxiously waiting for the walls to tumble over and her world to fall apart forgot that her foundation is solid. She lost sight of the many times she had picked up the pieces before. But with love, support and a lot of self-reflection that scared person remembered her strength. She channeled her fear and used it to fuel a new beginning.

I spent this entire year revisiting old skills and learning (many) new ones, I asked myself tough questions and felt my way through it and most importantly I forced myself to get up every day and take one step forward, often without any clear direction as to wear I was going.

The past twelve months have humbled me. They have taught me that I still have so much growing and learning to do with my time left on this Earth- and that isn’t a punishment, it’s a privilege.

I don’t have all the answers yet, but I do know that in order to rise you have to fall. After 365 days I’m fully embracing the climb.

So when the clock strikes midnight tonight, I can confidently say 2021 wasn’t the year that broke me, it was the year that built me.

I hope that no matter where you are in your journey, 2022 is a year where goals are archived, joy is felt and love is all around you.

Happy New Year!✨